Why Sex Is Good Sometimes & Sometimes It’s Not

by Lucas Castillo

October 30th, 2018

I think we all think about this. It may even be a daily thought for those that are sex addicts.

Are you asking yourselves the right questions when it come’s to thought? Are you being honest with yourself?

Why are people so afraid to talk about sex? As human beings we have sexual feelings. It is a human trait that 99% of us love to express or release. However, are you sharing your sexual feelings the right way?

You may have a self-sabotaging pattern.

This pattern is doing more damage to you than you might think. We need to be able to talk about this. It’s 2018.

I have been trying to explain this growing concern in my own mind for several years. This idea that really only just recently made sense to me.

I call it the sex-cage or sex-prison.

I was actually sharing this idea with my sister’s boyfriend who actually strongly understood what I meant when explaining it. He put the name on what I have been trying to understand for so long. This thing I think most of us have, none of us are talking about it.

Sex is simply called a weapon because people get hurt. People will subconsciously or even consciously do anything to get in bed just to get that release. We will even sometimes hurt ourselves without even realizing it.

I know I have. I have hurt myself way too many times and I hate that I am just now seeing it with my eyes. A complex that has really just been misunderstood my entire life.

We know why sex is good when it is. It’s great because the connection is amazing. A lot of those things are obvious.

A true sex addict doesn’t really let emotion or petty minded ideas get in their way for intercourse. I have never understood how anyone can just sleep with a random stranger at will. My friends look at me like I am stupid. How was it that I could not just be a regular guy and hunt in the night and stalk women like they are prey?

I liked to think it was because my mother taught me better. It was still something I could never really do. I need a connection. I need to be able to admire a woman for who she is before I could really have successful sex with her.

Even as a stripper, women would line up after shows and I would honestly be so turned off.

It shouldn’t be like that. Am I the only one that feels this way? I know many women do. But as a man, society said that’s how all men are.

I know I don’t fit in this category. So I hope I am getting somewhere painting this perspective.

So now the other question.

Why does sex suck with some of our partners?

I believe that you are most likely not following your best weapon.

Your intuition.

Your intuition has the ability to see through some one’s bullshit. Sex might just suck because you are probably in bed with a narcissist.

If you are becoming emotionally invested in someone that isn’t giving you back the same energy, your body will begin to defend itself, subconsciously. Your intuition can override your sexual organs. You really never think about this when you are in the heat of the moment. Your anxiety may be through the roof & you still wouldn't have the slightest clue.

If it is not right for you, your subconscious can and will switch everything off. It can literally shut down your blood flow. Where for men, we often call it erectile dysfunction (ED) - a common diagnosis.

Now for women, I can only assume that the pipes dry up. I can only think that when a woman is uncomfortable, she may be more closed off. I cannot give further detail than that because I simply just do not know the female anatomy. I’m a dude.

Now I will never battle or argue science. Your brain is still the ultimate master of your body.

How ever, your body is also your vessel. None of us actually know what we are capable of because we can only access on average only 10% of our brains. Unless you're capable of accessing your higher consciousness.

If you find yourself uncomfortable in a sexual situation you must allow yourself to step back and let your body do the talking sometimes.

Feelings are very real.

Going against them will only create that schizophrenic being that we all know exists time to time. We must not place judgment on ourselves because we all have the ability to better ourselves. Sex can be quite damaging to yourself. And yes, your ego too.

As a man I can say that I grew up thinking that sleeping around was what men did. It was always considered a fun blood sport. And unfortunately, it is a blood sport for many men.

I won’t single out all men though. Women are guilty of it too. We aren’t perfect beings.

But we do have the ability to communicate and express how we feel sexually.

So the next time you wonder why the sex might suck, it’s because your body is trying to tell you something.

There are many people that I believe are free from this sex-cage. A one-night fling is not for everyone. I think we should be mindful of who we are about to sleep with.

Follow your intuition. Pay attention to what your body is telling you. This is your health that is at risk you know.

The fear you develop in the brain over the issues in your sex life can really manifest some scary and uncomfortable things. This is also an example of anxiety. I feel confident that most of us compartmentalize by claiming some really bizarre things. I believe that once you program that idea in your brain, that is your reality.

Here are some logical sex facts to consider when using this ideology on sex:

1. Sex does get better with connections that grow stronger.

2. Not everyone expresses sex the same way.

3. Emotional distress can cause failure in the bedroom.

4. If you are having concerning issues with your sexual organs, please see a doctor, a therapist, or even consider both.

5. Communication is the upmost important when it comes to sex with your partner.

So follow your sex instincts. Be considerate of your partner. Or partner(s) for some. The sex-cage is real. Don’t get caught up. Don’t be afraid to speak on how you’re feeling sexually.

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