Discovering Self-Love - How To

by Lucas Castillo

December 10th, 2018

When it comes to dating, I believe we all desire a certain kind of love for ourselves. Sure, self-love is a thing just about everyone needs to work on if you are currently single seeking a relationship.

Without self-love, you will never really find the person you are visualizing.

I go a little more in depth on how you can maybe use visualization in one of my recent blogs, 'Using Visualization To Find The Love Of Your Life' to find love.

Self-love really is the key to finding your mister or misses forever.

We are all very used to hearing that statement, 'love yourself first.' I heard it for years but this is something that truly is self-taught. It's no easy road, but once you begin to see through the haze, your life will change forever.

The idea is being able to consciously step far back from every situation you are currently in and being able to analyze how, why, and where you currently are in your current relationship(s). Yes, some of you sluts are dating multiple. Hopefully you change that some day.

I want you to explore the idea that anyone you are emotionally or intimately invested in, is in fact considered dating that person. Even with the label, it is still time spent. This can easily be the biggest mistake or could be the biggest lesson. It's up to you to decide.

I'm not meaning to sway your beliefs or make you disgruntled here. I'm just saying, if you are more invested in someone - sexually, spiritually, mentally, emotionally, financially - you are very much involved in a deeper meant relationship than what's considered a 'standard' one.

How many people can you say you've honestly dated now? It's way more than you would think. What if you were to consider only the people that you've slept with?

Now there are individuals that will say 'No, I can sleep with anyone without feeling anything.

Sex is a need, I get it. But sex is also very powerful. Giving it up so easily will pump the brakes in your love life.

So it's important to be able to identify individuals who only want sex. Why bother with people like this if you are building on visualizing your soulmate?

If you're looking for just sex, that is what you will get. So you can't tell yourself that you are looking for love and sex simultaneously. It doesn't work that way.

This is an example of the Law of Attraction.

This is something I participated in myself many times. It seemed I was looking for a woman that would please my sexual needs rather than focusing on a woman that had everything that I was looking for, as a life-partner. It made sex quite awful sometimes. Gee, I wonder why. So now I am visualizing for both.

It's the law of attraction! You get what you are putting out. *Hence the universe spinning in the palm of you hand.*

I finally let myself, love myself.

How do I mean?

We can all be very unconscious to our 'wake-up' moments. We often become overwhelmingly concerned and focused on the pain and the way it's making us feel when we get hurt. We can even drown in it for long periods of time.

This is the simple formula for depression.

The reason anything continues to hurt is because you are subconsciously still trying to learn from that lesson. Read that twice.

You hurt yourself when you enter a situation that you already know is not good for you.

A common example is going back to an ex.

The best example I can give you is when your partner betrays you. This could be cheating, lying, or just breaking your level of trust. Once that trust is gone, it's gone.

Trust is the number one rule in all levels in relationships. Is it not?

So why would you give someone the opportunity to do the same thing to you again?

Oh but they said that they were 'sorry.'

When you go against your own idea of the 'perfect' soulmate for yourself and return to the person that broke you, you are telling that person that what they did to you, was okay. You are actually getting farther away from your dream soul mate.

Have you ever had someone apologize to you and you respond with 'it's okay' ? We've all done this. We grew up hearing it.

Don't be this person anymore. Doing this too often can quickly make you a target and you will surely get hurt again.

Some have several bodies to account for, so I bid you a strong good luck.

If you are still dwelling on someone from the past, you need to know that they are behind you because they did not fit your dream-ideal person.that you envisioned. You also have to hold yourself responsible for not using your own instincts.

Usually the first sign that something won't work out is when the other person does something that you didn't like.Being awake and open to this idea I believe is important. It is important to know what action to take next when you become aware of it.

You have two options.

Option A is to run. Forget that person and continue to live a life that isn't fulfilling your love life.

Option B is to stay, and attempt to nurture the foundational ideas that you are dreaming of.

I hope you choose option B because the definition of a 'second chance' is strongly misunderstood. A second chance shouldn't have to involve intense amounts of emotional pain only to go 'give it another try.'

A second chance is being aware of a specific situation and then applying your already self-taught education to whatever the situation might be.

Surely, you can do it in a loving manner. But don't expect good results when you try to force it.

Either way, a lesson will be learned - you or the other person.

Option A should only be taken if said person is being noticeably narcissistic. Your intuition must be used diligently when meeting new people. This is very important when you are searching for your life partner.

I want you to know that if you do program 'Option B' in your mind and commit to the idea, you will discover self-love.

You should automatically know who is good and who is not good for you. Your instinct is the voice inside of your head. It you feel bad vibes, it's time to walk.

Now let's turn the table.

If you find yourself constantly choosing Option A, it's because you are a runner. It is a logical sign that you are not ready to receive the love that you are looking for.

Have you ever walked away from someone that you were actually asking the universe for? (Or higher power is. It doesn't matter.)

I believe every one has done this to themselves.

You walk away from your dream partner because maybe you're too concerned about your instagram likes. Maybe you're too concerned about the size of that persons wallet. Maybe you're too concerned about what they drive.

Maybe, you're just an asshole.

Everyone is on a different timeline. You shouldn't judge where someone else is at in life. It will cost you and It will eventually catch up to you.

If you continue to run away, it just means you have another lesson on it's way. Things tend to spiral out of control when you do go against your instincts, don't they? Think hard on that.

If you are currently single, leave who ever might be lingering in your mind - in the past. They are a unnecessary weight. They are behind you for a reason.

Don't go backwards. You have too much to look forward to.

Don't let anyone disturb your idea of what love really is. We've all dreamt of something really quite divine. It exists. It's out there.

You just have to love yourself first.

The other person that thinks this way is waiting for you patiently.

Love is patient. Be patient for love.

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