Having Men 'Issues?' - What Do Men Need To Work On?

by Lucas Castillo

October 30th, 2018

America as I see has gone through some severe changes in recent years. Many of those changes were extremely necessary. The biggest focus seemed to be equality. We are always striving to be equal.

It started with the LGBTQ community when the Obama family took office. There was a community of people that were not being accepted in society. There was an amazing breakthrough.

The LGBTQ community is now being recognized and the awareness has begun to heal society. More people are becoming more accepting of each other despite our sexual orientation or differences. It's great not to judge others.

Another amazing change this country has seen is our growing feminist community. We have tribes of women fighting for their human rights and seeking equality and they are succeeding.

I 100% stand behind what is right and just for the people. No one deserves to looked at as less. No one deserves to be shamed based on their body parts or social status. Everyone deserves equal love and opportunities.

I have never had a desire to voice how I feel about society. I have never wanted to participate until now.

We have unfortunately developed a new problem.

Men are now the target.

Men are seemingly the ‘new’ issue with this world. Straight men in fact.

Why?

I know why. It’s because straight men did create a horrible name for themselves. This country’s hunt for equality has brought I believe only a new kind of hate for men.

Men and women have broken up on a very large scale.

Like any situation or fight, seeking forgiveness and of course healing from that situation can be difficult.

Take an actual break-up for example.

Two people separate based on their differences but one member is more hurt than the other typically. That person most likely has more healing to do than the other.

This is always extremely unfortunate.

In most cases, it is the woman that gets hurt in the relationship, yes?

Yes that is true. However, things seem to be taking a turn.

I see more men getting hurt these days. I see more men getting more emotional. Which is great.

I think it's great that more men are embracing their emotional side because most of us grew up being told that is wasn't okay to.

How ever, seeing men becoming more emotionally damaged is also a bad sign.

I need to share my perspective as a man though. I believe more men need to.

It seems like every time I get on Facebook, my timeline is filled with things like “men are trash” or “men are unfaithful” or even “men deserve to have their dicks cut off.” Maybe that last one was extreme but honestly I have read that before.

What I dislike most is when I see a woman post about her pain. I hate to see anyone that is hurt. How ever, instead of targeting the person that hurt her, she targets ALL MEN. It quickly became all men this or all men that and before you know it, that is every woman’s reality.

Men really did create that perspective for women. That is fucking sad. I really do hate it.

Men have been horrible to women for many years. There is no running from it now because women are done taking it. I am genuinely proud of woman that stand up for themselves. I am so glad that women are not letting bad men abuse them any longer.

However, there are good men that do exist. The good men I feel are being thrown into this category of men.

As a man today, life is fucking hard.

I get it. I totally get it. Women feel like men need to understand what they did to women over the years so they can learn their lesson. I see so much anger in women. There is still so much justice to be served.

We should be able to do it a better way though, right? How do we separate the good from the bad?

Society is shit, lets be real. American society has become a laughing stock to the world. I can only imagine being an outside viewer to really only see that it’s just a group of people tearing each other apart. No wonder why everyone hates us. We hate on each other.

I’m 28 years old. Dating has never been so fucking difficult. I feel like most women are afraid of me. How? That can’t be.

My mother raised me, and trust me, she raised a gentleman. My communication skills are amazing. I know I’m charming. I love making a girls day just to see her smile. I love showing up with flowers spontaneously. I long for a wife and my own family some day. My values and heart is in the right place.

Why can’t I find someone to do that with right now? Why do I feel like every girl looks at me like I’m a sexual predator? Why do I feel like every girl I talk to assumes that I just want sex? I’m afraid to say hello. I’m afraid to start a conversation.

Why?

This is a common trend now for men like me.

Society has trained women that all men are predators. That is an obvious observation.

The world does not believe that there are any more good men that exist and the good deserving men that do exist are becoming more and more afraid to stand up to reveal themselves to the many good deserving women.

I am no saint. Bad men do exist. Myself included has fucked up in more ways than I can count. But I too have also been cheated on. I have been mentally abused and manipulated. I have been sexually assaulted. Some of us have been through the same things.

I have seen the ugly of this world and I have also done ugly to this world. We live in a very ugly cycle as human beings but we are all in the same streamline of lessons.

I think each time we meet a new person we should see how we can learn from each other.

A new face is always a new opportunity to shed our light. It’s an opportunity to open our eyes and make that difference.

Those not so willing to communicate you should of course be walking away from. We were given intuition for a reason and we really need to be using it.

To me, change is simple. It might be hard for others and I’ve accepted that. Cities don’t change overnight. But we need to start accepting that America is targeting wrongfully.

This isn’t a ‘bad’ thing necessarily. But we are doing it the wrong way. All men are being categorized into one kind of man and I feel like none of us are meant to be trusted. We need to find ways to approach this issue a right way, a better way.

It’s not one persons job to change the world. It has to start with us. I do however like to think that positive change does start when one person in their community acts on it.

I want good men to start standing up a little more confidently. I want bad men to start cleaning up their messes. I want women to feel safe walking alone again. I want women to feel like they can speak without conflict. I want women to feel powerful, as they should. I want all of us to see each other as equals.

I want men and women to start working together as a unit.

My message is this.

Communication is our best tool. Using our voice will impact our relationships significantly.

Don’t be afraid to express what you’ve been through. Men are trying to overcome their emotional stresses as well.

Most men were raised being told that they had to bury their emotions because it made them less 'tough' and it made them appear weak.

If you are a man reading this.

Share this with other men. Good men exist and I think that good men need to work together to recover the male title. Good men are deserving. Hang in there.

If you are a woman reading this.

Good men are working on themselves every day. None of us are perfect. Some men have been hurt just the same.

Please be aware that good men do exist.

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