A Dating Guide For Men - What You Should Be Doing

by Lucas Castillo

December 13th, 2018

I intend to help any man that's about to read this and to become more open-minded when it comes to your dating life. This is for any man, no matter your sexual orientation. So this is for all readers.

I'm no love guru but I can sadly admit that I do have a lot of dating experience. So I have a lot to say.

As individuals, we strive to become the best we are known to be capable of. We aim to draw out our highest good. Especially when it comes to dating. How else would you find your dream partner?

How 'good' are you though?

This is a question I have constantly asked myself over and over again when relationships don't work out. It can reach a point to where it can almost break you.

Dating is hard. Finding the person that you want to be with forever is no easy task. It's a big world out there. There a lot of people to choose from. It only takes knowing where to find your forever best-friend.

Know that you already are good enough. But you have to ask yourself this.

Are you doing all of the things that is required to find that person of your dreams? We are all seeking our ride-or-die teammate, but are you actually paying attention to the energy that you put out?

What energies does I speak of?

I mean, are you taking care of yourself? Are you actually putting yourself first?

For me, growing up was about taking care of myself and everyone else around me. I take big pride in that.

In some way or another, most of us were taught that we had to be strong. We had to isolate our feelings and shut them down for everyone to show strength. Showing weakness meant, well, you were weak.

You need to know that speaking on the things you believe in and feel will get you much further along in your dating life. When you shut this part of yourself down, you will never level up to the kind of person you are truly seeking.

Speaking on things you feel is okay. Allowing yourself to actually feel is the best sense of self-justice. It opens up your vision. It helps you see through the virtual game you are playing in; life.

Think about it for just a moment.

When you compromise yourself for a person that does not value the same things as you - like going to the gym, staying healthy, having nights out with the boys, religion, football on Sundays, etc - you are only going fighting against yourself.

Of course going after someone that is not your typical 'type' is okay. It just means you are ready to try something else and that's totally fine. It really just means you are being more open for yourself and others.

You're allowed to seek any one you wish. Family nor friends should be able to dictate who you're going after. What you want is important. Social acceptance should be the least of your concern when you choose your mate.

Holding onto what you want most can take you so much further. Holding onto your idea of a dream partner is going to be worth it when you find them. Your world will begin to spin in your direction and things will begin to happen for you in ways that you did imagine. The power of visualization is incredible.

Look if someone begins to walk a different direction other than yours, it's okay to walk away. It's better to swallow your pride and accept the loss of a person you were hopeful for. It just means that you should now be more aware of things you don't wish to have in your ideal relationship.

Someone that walks away from your greatness needs to be taken with a grain of salt. They don't know what they are missing out on.

Let's Henry Rollins for example. He provided great insight when he shared a portion of his dating life when as he was on his way to becoming one of the best motivational speakers and artist of this time.

He was a lead singer for a band called Black Flag. Henry devoted himself to what he loved most, and it was punk rock. The screamo-punk style music he was creating was just on it's way to being one of the largest genres in music history.

He mentioned that when he did date women, they all seemed to think that what he was doing was a bit 'strange.' He stated that one girl had said, "I had no idea you were like that, I had no idea you had this whole thing going on with you. Uhh, really nice meeting you...bye."

So he continued doing what he loved without compromising himself.

I'm not sure how many of you may have encountered someone like this. That or it happened in a similar fashion. Often times, we have people like this enter our lives that won't really say that to your face anymore.

So you have to figure it out the hard way usually. This just takes using your instincts. You'll know. Just don't find out the hard way. Point blank, if you're not getting the support you are seeking, you need to walk away before you get deeper and set yourself up for a painful ride.

Your dreams are at stake here.

Imagine if Henry had settled. Imagine if he let any of those girls pull him down and away from the things he was working on and believed in. Where do you think he would be?

We probably wouldn't even know that Henry Rollins exists. This is very important idea that you need to be keeping in mind.

If you want to be able to find someone that is equally conscious of the things you value most, whatever those things may be, you will truly be unstoppable.

For me personally, I cannot fathom anything more powerful than two people that share identical values. Once they unite, the opportunities are endless.

Power couple is the name of this trend. We all want it. How do we find it?

So are you looking in the places? Are you doing the right things for yourself to ensure that you do find that person?

Here is an example.

Now what I want is not what everyone else wants. What I want is some one who values family the way I do.

But if you want someone who shares that same value of family, what must you do?

You have to direct your vision towards your own family. You have to teach yourself how to be a better family man. This means you actually have to spend time with your loved ones.

Yes this means visiting your grandparents more often. Yes this means spending more time with your brothers and sisters. Yes this means offering a helping hand to things you see that need done.

Serving yourself in this fashion will open your vision and you will be more conscious to people that are doing the same things.

Here's another example.

Say you want a want some one that is as health conscious as you are.

If you are envisioning a fitness-oriented and/or nutritionally conscious partner, you better get your shit together and start going to the gym and/or choosing better nutritional habits.

For you personally, you only want someone like this because they are just as equally aware that a healthy lifestyle means less physical and mental illness's and a longer life expectancy. You want someone who wants to live the same way you do.

It's not something that some one should take to insult over what you want. You're entitled to what you value. If you aren't health conscious, you will end up with someone who is equally as health conscious, or just single.

Whatever imaginative 'standard' you create in your mind, just know you won't receive it until you start participating in the same things. That is the truth.

It's no different than wanting to find someone that is just as crazy about Pizza as you are.

It's not different than wanting to find someone that loves to dance. You better learn how to.

Don't ever settle for just anybody. Not every one thinks the same way that you do. Usually once you program a belief in your mind, it's hard for that belief to be changed. Once you begin to go against what you desire most, in anything, you are killing your own dreams.

I say in anything, I mean anything. This goes for your career, finances and your love life. When you go against any of the things that you believe in most inside of those three categories, you will never excel. You will never reach the height of your imagination.

I hope you found this blog useful for your dating endeavors.

Your the next partner may not 'be the one' but instead know that your dream partner will only reveal themselves as soon as you are doing the things you need to be doing in order to receive them.

Also, please stop trying to impress every one. Your ego will only lead you to someone that only sees you for your arrogance. Being an asshole isn't a quality that a genuine person wants. Especially if you are looking for a genuine person.

That includes sending dick pics.

So please, work on the things that you are striving for. Quite literally.

When you do all of these things, you may end up running right into the person of your dreams when you are serving yourself fully.

Don't be afraid to look in the mirror and see yourself. If you don't like yourself, just know that you are not your type, and that you need to change the things that you do not like.

Go find you. Your dream partner is just right around the corner.

Low key, this dating guide is for every one.

Sources:

https://www.henryrollins.com

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